REUNIONS

I’m back in suburbia with a fresh stack of business cards, and I’m off to my unofficial university reunion tonight, followed by a semi-official high school reunion tomorrow night. Fortunately, I am pretty thirsty these days so I’ll have some champagne and cocaine chow mein to carry me thought the ‘oh my god it’s been ages” *air kiss* *let’s not pretend that we hated each other* or *didn’t you sleep with everyone’s boyfriend?* (Answer: Yes, yes I did. Or at least I tried to.)

Now that my mom knows I’m a stripper (I’d tell you all about it but then why would you buy my novel, due out sometime in the next millennium) I’ve decided that it’s ok for everyone else to know, too. This includes high school English teachers and perhaps even my youngest cousins, who are starting high school in September.

I’m doing my best to take my second Coming Out in stride, and trying really hard not to embarrass anyone when I start talking about gash-flashing and pubic hairstyles.

But I usually embarrass everyone anyway, plastic shoes or no plastic shoes.

HOW SHOULD I PROCEED?

(it has to be said that at this time my roots are not unlike Mira Sorvino’s in this frame)

Any tips?  The more absurd, the better.

 

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